Category: Reviews of Movies
Directed by Rob Lindsay. No Responders Left Behind is a feature documentary following 9/11 responder & activist John Feal who, along with comedian Jon Stewart and FDNY hero Ray Pfeifer, fought the U.S. Congress to ensure that thousands of terminally ill 9/11 First Responders got the health care This was released back in 2021, but I just now found a stream of it, and I promise you, I’ve been looking! It’s every bit as emotionally frustrating as I expected it to be, with the same obvious players making life difficult for everyone around them, using morally corrupt reasoning to cause...
Habit: Directed by Janell Shirtcliff. With Bella Thorne, Andreja Pejic, Gavin Rossdale, Libby Mintz. A street-smart party girl gets mixed up in a violent drug deal and finds a possible way out by masquerading as a nun. It took me about 3 tries, but I finally got through the film. There’s a few famous people present, but I think they forgot to polish the story before filming. There’s definitely a story to be told here, but it’s one that you have to get to despite the uneven acting and unnatural lighting in nearly every scene. Buy On Amazon!
The Northman: Directed by Robert Eggers. With Alexander Skarsgård, Nicole Kidman, Claes Bang, Ethan Hawke. From visionary director Robert Eggers comes The Northman, an action-filled epic that follows a young Viking prince on his quest to avenge his father’s murder. I love Alexander Skarsgard, but this movie went too heavy into the deep catalog of northern mythology for me to enjoy the film. It’s definitely got a fantastic story and the acting is pretty damn good too, just didn’t do it for me personally. Buy On Amazon!
The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit: Directed by Nunnally Johnson. With Gregory Peck, Jennifer Jones, Fredric March, Marisa Pavan. An ex-soldier faces ethical questions as he tries to earn enough to support his wife and children well. This is one of the most serious and mature film that I’ve seen from the 1950’s, and it’s about the effects of PTSD on soldiers from the second world war that wrapped up about a decade previously, and how they were dealing with the fact that the country had developed a national amnesia to the fact that a large part of their...
The Night House: Directed by David Bruckner. With Rebecca Hall, Sarah Goldberg, Vondie Curtis-Hall, Evan Jonigkeit. A widow begins to uncover her recently deceased husband’s disturbing secrets. This movie has some of the most creepy use of negative space that I’ve ever seen in a film and goes up on my list of great suspense films like “It Follows”. Buy On Amazon!
The Big Short: Directed by Adam McKay. With Ryan Gosling, Rudy Eisenzopf, Casey Groves, Charlie Talbert. In 2006-2007 a group of investors bet against the US mortgage market. In their research, they discover how flawed and corrupt the market is. I’ve been putting off watching this, as I only just barely missed getting hit by the subprime implosion, so I have good memories of friends having severe financial problems, some of whom have still not fully recovered. Seeing it in a movie isn’t necessary and I’ll admit to a bit of PTSD with hearing that only a single person was...
Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers: Directed by Akiva Schaffer. With Andy Samberg, John Mulaney, KiKi Layne, Will Arnett. Thirty years after their popular television show ended, chipmunks Chip and Dale live very different lives. When a cast member from the original series mysteriously disappears, the pair must reunite to save their friend. This is hands down one of the most bonkers films that I’ve ever seen. Remember when Roger Rabbit came out and everyone was shocked at how well Bob Costas did with an animated co-start? Well here in CnD, it’s animation, early CGI, uncanny valley CGI, modern 3d cgi,...
Standing Up, Falling Down: Directed by Matt Ratner. With Billy Crystal, Ben Schwartz, Grace Gummer, Eloise Mumford. The unlikely friendship that kindles between a struggling stand-up comedian from L.A., forced to move back home with his tail between his legs, and a tragically flawed, but charming and charismatic, alcoholic dermatologist. I watched this based on the two main guys alone, Ben Schwartz is still on his well owned upward trajectory and pretty much everything Billy Crystal does is damn entertaining. You’ll not be surprised to learn that this is a fantastically tragic comedy about getting to a certain point in...
Last Looks: Directed by Tim Kirkby. With Charlie Hunnam, Mel Gibson, Lucy Fry, Rupert Friend. A disgraced ex-cop seeks solace by moving to the woods, but his quiet life comes to an end when a private eye recruits him to investigate a murder. Other than Mel Gibson’s rediculous accent, this is a pretty fun film. Even that accent has a certain charm to it, but it’s just so out of place and fake it takes me out of the film ever moment I hear it. It’s a toss up of who looked better in this Charlie Hunnam or Morena Baccarin,...
Morbius: Directed by Daniel Espinosa. With Jared Leto, Matt Smith, Adria Arjona, Jared Harris. Biochemist Michael Morbius tries to cure himself of a rare blood disease, but he inadvertently infects himself with a form of vampirism instead. I remember when word came out that Sony was going to make this movie, then they hired Jared Leto in the main role, I formed a picture of what I thought the final product would look like, and with some very minor exceptions, this is exactly what I thought it would be, for better or worse. The actors are present, there’s music, some...
The G Word with Adam Conover: Created by Jon Cohen, Adam Conover, Jon Wolf. With Nicole Randall Johnson, James Austin Johnson, Sierra Katow, Carol Herman. Follows Conover introducing the civil servants who make it work and take a satirical look at its shortcomings. You may remember Adam Conover from “Adam Ruins Everything” a series that I believe started on College Humor and graduated to TBS, running from 2015 to 2019. It was basically Penn and Teller’s “Bullshit” but with much more hand holding research and documented sources, explaining the ins and outs about everything from office rights to circumcision. “The...
Constantine: Directed by Francis Lawrence. With Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf, Djimon Hounsou. Supernatural exorcist and demonologist John Constantine helps a policewoman prove her sister’s death was not a suicide, but something more. With all due respect to the other actors that have played the Hellblazer, this is likely my favorite version of the character, with my favorite story that the he’s been in on screen. Sure he’s not british, sure he’s not blonde, but he’s got the same middle finger waving attitude you’d hope for from someone that’s just angry at the state of things and having to...
Ambulance: Directed by Michael Bay. With Jake Gyllenhaal, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Eiza González, Garret Dillahunt. Two robbers steal an ambulance after their heist goes awry. This is about as refined of a movie you’re ever going to get from Michael Bay, it’s obvious that he’s been refining his drone work, and his pairing with Jake Gyllenhaal, Yahya Abdul-Mateen, and IIEiza González are nearly a match made in heaven, as they’re apparently able to take his direction without turning it into pure camp. There’s a specific demographic that Bay aims for, I’m somewhat in it, but I feel he’s really done...
Popeye: Directed by Robert Altman. With Robin Williams, Shelley Duvall, Ray Walston, Paul Dooley. The adventures of the famous sailor man and his friends in the seaside town of Sweethaven. I understand that you don’t always get to pick your first role as an actor, and you definitely don’t get to have editing calls, but this film is a complete a waste of time, potential, and possibility. This is the type of thing that people can point to and say “this is the movie that set back comic book adaptations by 40 years”. The casting is nearly perfect in every...
Songbird: Directed by Adam Mason. With K.J. Apa, Sofia Carson, Craig Robinson, Bradley Whitford. In 2024 a pandemic ravages the world and its cities. Centering on a handful of people as they navigate the obstacles currently hindering society: disease, martial law, quarantine, and vigilantes. Per wikipedia, the film was conceived of, written, produced, filmed, and released all within a few months of the global covid-19 pandemic breaking national borders and infecting hundreds of millions and killing millions of those that were unable to fight off the infection. The movie feels as crass as you would expect, with a barebones story...
White Hot: The Rise & Fall of Abercrombie & Fitch: Directed by Alison Klayman. With Benjamin O’Keefe, Bobby Blanski, Ryan Daharsh, Sapna Maheshwari. Abercrombie and Fitch conquered malls in the late ’90s and early ’00s with gorgeous models, pulsing dance beats and a fierce scent. But their “all-American” image shattered as exclusionary marketing and hiring practices came to light. A&F was at best on the very edge of my awareness when it was at it’s height of popularity and I never heard about any of the issues they ended up being accused of. I’m honestly not sure why I clicked...
The Lost City: Directed by Aaron Nee, Adam Nee. With Sandra Bullock, Channing Tatum, Daniel Radcliffe, Da’Vine Joy Randolph. A reclusive romance novelist on a book tour with her cover model gets swept up in a kidnapping attempt that lands them both in a cutthroat jungle adventure. This definitely feels like it was made for direct to streaming audiences, so I was definitely surprised when it was only in theaters for a (short?) time period. It finally came to Paramount Plus, so I got to watch it on my free month’s worth of the service. This isn’t the first time...
Last Woman on Earth: Directed by Roger Corman. With Betsy Jones-Moreland, Antony Carbone, Robert Towne. Ev, her husband Harold, and their friend Martin go scuba diving while on vacation in Puerto Rico. When they surface, they find that everyone on the island has died. No clue how I missed this in my period where I was watching every post-apocalyptic film I could get my hands on, but here it is, one of the first versions of the story that I’ve run into. Released in 1960, it’s a full 25 years before “The Quiet Earth” which has the same conceit of...
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness: Directed by Sam Raimi. With Benedict Cumberbatch, Elizabeth Olsen, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Benedict Wong. Dr. Stephen Strange casts a forbidden spell that opens the doorway to the multiverse, including alternate versions of himself, whose threat to humanity is too great for the combined forces of Strange, Wong, and Wanda Maximoff. Sam Raimi is gonna do what Sam Raimi is gonna do, and while this is decidedly a Marvel movie with all the Marvel baggage that good Marvel movies come with, this is still a delightfully Sam Raimi movie, with everything you’d expect from him....
Perfect Sense: Directed by David Mackenzie. With Eva Green, Lauren Tempany, Ewan McGregor, Connie Nielsen. A chef and a scientist fall in love as an epidemic begins to rob people of their sensory perceptions. Not a movie I want to see while the world is winding down from a global pandemic that removed many victim’s sense of smell, but the film has s a artistic poetry to the extinction of humanity that’s beautiful in it’s own way. Buy On Amazon!
Liar Liar: Directed by Tom Shadyac. With Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Cary Elwes. A fast-track lawyer can’t lie for 24 hours due to his son’s birthday wish after he disappoints his son for the last time. It was on my list of movies that I own but hadn’t watched, which I guess is because I had watched it last before I was logging movies. I was happy to go back to watch it again though, as Carrey really did well with the entire premise, even introducing the novel character of “The Claw” something that the insufferable Jerry tries...
Pokémon Detective Pikachu: Directed by Rob Letterman. With Ryan Reynolds, Justice Smith, Kathryn Newton, Bill Nighy. In a world where people collect Pokémon to do battle, a boy comes across an intelligent talking Pikachu who seeks to be a detective. This is becoming one of my go to movies for an emotional pick me up, the entire thing works the way that I want a video game movie to work. Nostalgic, but not stupidly so, which is surprising to me since i’ve never once played a pokemon game. Buy On Amazon!
Jumanji: Directed by Joe Johnston. With Robin Williams, Jonathan Hyde, Kirsten Dunst, Bradley Pierce. When two kids find and play a magical board game, they release a man trapped in it for decades – and a host of dangers that can only be stopped by finishing the game. I had forgotten that Kirsten Dunst was in this film. I had also forgotten how young she was at the time. This is another Robin Williams film on our journey of Robin Williams films. It’s among his better films. More at 11. Buy On Amazon!
The Best of Times: Directed by Roger Spottiswoode. With Robin Williams, Kurt Russell, Pamela Reed, Holly Palance. A small-town loser determines to have one more shot at the big time by winning a football game. Released in 1986, this was well before I was tracking Robin WIlliams, as I was only six at the time, so not really too much to explain there, especially since this is a mostly forgettable film with plenty of people that were famous previously or become much more famous after The Best of Times. It’s a perfectly cromulent film and I don’t have any major...
Sonic the Hedgehog 2: Directed by Jeff Fowler. With James Marsden, Jim Carrey, Ben Schwartz, Tika Sumpter. When the manic Dr Robotnik returns to Earth with a new ally, Knuckles the Echidna, Sonic and his new friend Tails is all that stands in their way. I never thought that we’d get one good Sonic movie, much less TWO good Sonic films, especially after the disaster that was the original trailer for the first film. Somewhere along the line though, they figured it out, refined nostalgia for a wildly popular video game franchise, and delivered a fuzzy experience that I enjoyed...
The Last Shift: Directed by Andrew Cohn. With Richard Jenkins, Shane Paul McGhie, Da’Vine Joy Randolph, Ed O’Neill. Stanley’s last shift at his fast food job takes an unexpected turn when he befriends a young African-American work employee. I was hoping for more than what we got, but I’ll have to admit the final product is well done. I had built this movie into something it wasn’t in my head, as it’s been on my watch list since I ran into a trailer back in early 2021, and finally found it on a random streaming site. I had the impression...
Uncharted: Directed by Ruben Fleischer. With Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg, Antonio Banderas, Sophia Ali. Street-smart Nathan Drake is recruited by seasoned treasure hunter Victor “Sully” Sullivan to recover a fortune amassed by Ferdinand Magellan, and lost 500 years ago by the House of Moncada. I did not expect to like this as well as I did, there was a struggle at the start for me to separate Tom Holland from his Spider-man role, as in those movie he’s playing a highschooler, and here he’s a 20 something orphan on an epic adventure of tending bar and pick pocketing until he’s...
Warlords of the Deep: Directed by Kevin Connor. With Doug McClure, Peter Gilmore, Shane Rimmer, Lea Brodie. Searching for the lost world of Atlantis, Prof. Aitken, his son Charles and Greg Collinson are betrayed by the crew of their expedition’s ship, attracted by the fabulous treasures of Atlantis. The diving bell destroyed, a deep sea monster attacks the boat. They are all dragged to the bottom of the sea where they meet the inhabitants of the lost continent, an advance alien race makes slaves of the ship-wrecked sailors. The aliens want to rule the human world to create a nazi...
The Batman: Directed by Matt Reeves. With Robert Pattinson, Zoë Kravitz, Jeffrey Wright, Colin Farrell. When the Riddler, a sadistic serial killer, begins murdering key political figures in Gotham, Batman is forced to investigate the city’s hidden corruption and question his family’s involvement. This is definitely a move that features a man dressed as a “bat”, and there’s definitely some real good money thrown at it, but did they have to make the whole thing as boring as it ended up being? Everyone here is doing what they’ve been paid to do, but the story and story beats are all...
Chris Claremont’s X-Men: Directed by Patrick Meaney. With Jason Aaron, Lon Brown, Chris Claremont, Hallie Cooper-Novack. Chris Claremont came to Marvel as a young man, and was assigned a book that no one else wanted, a book on the brink of cancellation: X-Men. Over the next 17 years, his work on the title turned it into the biggest franchise in comic book history. Forty years later, his work has been adapted into 10 films, three TV series, countless video games and become a part of our cultural mythology. it’s always nice to look back at the creative minds of series...
Spider-Man: No Way Home: Directed by Jon Watts. With Tom Holland, Zendaya, Benedict Cumberbatch, Jacob Batalon. With Spider-Man’s identity now revealed, Peter asks Doctor Strange for help. When a spell goes wrong, dangerous foes from other worlds start to appear, forcing Peter to discover what it truly means to be Spider-Man. I now own this on a plastic disk. It’s pretty nice. Buy On Amazon!
The Congress: Directed by Ari Folman. With Robin Wright, Harvey Keitel, Sami Gayle, Jon Hamm. An aging, out-of-work actress accepts one last job, though the consequences of her decision affect her in ways she didn’t consider. Release in 2013 well before her resurgance in amazing roles like House of Cards, Blade Runner 2042, or Wonder Woman, this movie has Robin Wright playing a nearly has been actress that’s in need of income an out of options, so signs over her digital likeness to Miramax. I’ve seen this before in a couple other things, the first that comes to mind is...
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings: Directed by Destin Daniel Cretton. With Simu Liu, Tony Chiu-Wai Leung, Awkwafina, Ben Kingsley. Shang-Chi, the master of weaponry-based Kung Fu, is forced to confront his past after being drawn into the Ten Rings organization. Watching this with my wife, I enjoyed it much more than the last 3 times I watched it. That being said, it’s impossible to watch while doing anything because of all the ridiculous subtitles, and the soundtrack is the strongest part of the film. Also, it’s cool to see the new Sorcerer Supreme in action, even if...
Kick-Ass 2: Directed by Jeff Wadlow. With Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Chloë Grace Moretz, Morris Chestnut, Claudia Lee. Following Kick-Ass’ heroics, other citizens are inspired to become masked crusaders. But Red Mist leads his own group of evil supervillains to get revenge, kill Kick-Ass and destroy everything he stands for. Not as ground breaking as the first one, but still just as entertaining. Doesn’t help that this turned into the Hit-Girl movie super dooper quick. Buy On Amazon!
Kick-Ass: Directed by Matthew Vaughn. With Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Garrett M. Brown, Evan Peters, Deborah Twiss. Dave Lizewski is an unnoticed high school student and comic book fan who one day decides to become a superhero, even though he has no powers, training or meaningful reason to do so. Featuring several references to “myspace” and a movie named “The Spirit 3”, this is a completely out of time movies that has no real references to the real world, including computer stuff like “I rerouted your IP address”, which is a complete non-sense phrase when it comes to hacking a PC, but...
The Gateway: Directed by Michele Civetta. With Shea Whigham, Olivia Munn, Zach Avery, Bruce Dern. A social worker assigned to the care of the daughter of a single mother intervenes when the dad returns from prison and lures them into a life of crime. It’s a good enough movie, but boy howdy did I not need to see how grim dark the world could be if viewed through a washed up social worker. Buy On Amazon!
Deadpool 2: Directed by David Leitch. With Ryan Reynolds, Josh Brolin, Morena Baccarin, Julian Dennison. Foul-mouthed mutant mercenary Wade Wilson (a.k.a. Deadpool) assembles a team of fellow mutant rogues to protect a young boy with supernatural abilities from the brutal, time-traveling cyborg Cable. Hilarious and what I needed tonight. Buy On Amazon!
Bumblebee: Directed by Travis Knight. With Hailee Steinfeld, Jorge Lendeborg Jr., John Cena, Jason Drucker. On the run in the year 1987, Bumblebee finds refuge in a junkyard in a small California beach town. On the cusp of turning 18 and trying to find her place in the world, Charlie Watson discovers Bumblebee, battle-scarred and broken. Definitely the best of the 5 Transformers films, it’s difficult for me to even say what part of it works best. Is it the amazing cgi? is it the new transformation and robot designs? Is it Hailee Steinfeld? The nods back to the original...
Disaster on the Coastliner: Directed by Richard C. Sarafian. With Lloyd Bridges, Raymond Burr, Robert Fuller, Pat Hingle. A vengeful employee of a computer-controlled railway arranges a head-on collision of passenger trains. Can it be stopped? One of those films that you know is going to be bad, but ends up being pretty ok, along with guest stars that you had no idea were going to be there, but ended up being there and not being bad? I have no clue what attracted me to this movie, but there it is, it’s a computer-phobic tale about a train that couldn’t...
Terra Willy: Directed by Eric Tosti. With Landen Beattie, Jason Anthony, Laura Post, Keith Silverstein. Upon the destruction of their ship, Willy is separated from his parents. He lands on a wild and unexplored planet and with the help of Buck, a survival robot, he will have to hold until the arrival of a rescue mission. I’ve been looking for this movie for years, I think it had a limited released in 2019, then it just sorta disappeared. Luckily I keep track of movies that look interesting over on 2queue.com, and I finally found it on a random streaming site,...
Willow: Directed by Ron Howard. With Val Kilmer, Joanne Whalley, Warwick Davis, Jean Marsh. A young farmer is chosen to undertake a perilous journey in order to protect a special baby from an evil queen. It’s been ages since I’ve seen this film with what I can only assume is the entire population of adults under 4 feet. I had forgotten a great deal about the film and was largely going in blind again, but enjoyed myself none the less. Buy On Amazon!
Transformers: The Last Knight: Directed by Michael Bay. With Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Duhamel, Laura Haddock. A deadly threat from Earth’s history reappears and a hunt for a lost artifact takes place between Autobots and Decepticons, while Optimus Prime encounters his creator in space. Arguably the most stupid episode of the franchise, but also arguably the strongest on plot, animation, and drama. Not acting though, oof. It was released back in 2017 and I don’t have the emotional investment to see when/if a sequel is happening, maybe the story elements they were setting up here were forgone for the...
The Bubble: Directed by Judd Apatow. With Harry Trevaldwyn, Samson Kayo, Peter Serafinowicz, Danielle Vitalis. A group of actors and actresses stuck inside a pandemic bubble at a hotel attempts to complete a film. You’d think the movie would be an overweight horror of celebrity encounters with this many A-Listers in a single film, something like the Expendables franchise or even Hollywood Squares, but instead what we get is a complete rip on the concept of celebrity and how these guys are really just like us in nearly no way at all. It’s a fun movie that I highly suggest...
Creature: Directed by William Malone. With Stan Ivar, Wendy Schaal, Lyman Ward, Robert Jaffe. After a member of a geological research team who was sent to Saturn’s largest moon: Titan crashes their spacecraft into a space station, another team is sent to Titan to investigate, not knowing the terror that awaits them. A rather pedestrian film with bad framing, a mediocre sound track, poorly done special effects, and “one take” feeling acting. That is, right up until the characters in the film directly reference 1951’s “The Thing From Another World”, which John Carpenter made an extremely well received sequel to...
The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes: Directed by Robert Butler. With Kurt Russell, Cesar Romero, Joe Flynn, William Schallert. At Medfield College, an accident with a donated computer gives Dexter Riley the ability to remember any knowledge learned instantly and perfectly. Featuring an extremely young still charismatic Kurt Russell, this is an early version of the same concept of the “Chuck” television series, only this one from 1969 makes slightly more sense, as it’s not the data itself that gets transferred to the main character, but the ability to store, then process information itself. Ok, so in reality when you grab...
Wyvern: Directed by Steven R. Monroe. With Nick Chinlund, Erin Karpluk, Barry Corbin, Elaine Miles. They Find a Live Wyvern in small town Alaska. Set in Alaska, or at least an abandoned movie lot with plenty of Alaskan vacation footage, the film is both a low budget dragon fight and an entertainingly competent made for TV Wyvern experience. I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the CGI, though the budget shines through when you notice that the CGI Wyvern doesn’t actually physically interact with anything and nearly all of it’s close up set pieces are static shots without much...
Death on the Nile: Directed by Kenneth Branagh. With Michael Rouse, Alaa Safi, Orlando Seale, Charlie Anson. While on vacation on the Nile, Hercule Poirot must investigate the murder of a young heiress. The trailer had me interested, back when I first saw in in the before times, and the cast sealed the deal when I saw exactly who was in it and the types of characters they were playing. I wasn’t familiar with the story before watching it, and while the basic blocks of a murder mystery are there, the pieces are all used in ways that seemed novel...
X-Ray: Directed by Boaz Davidson. With Barbi Benton, Charles Lucia, Jon Van Ness, John Warner Williams. While receiving a routine check-up, a woman finds herself stranded on the hospital’s eighth floor, while someone dressed as a doctor is intent on her never leaving, even if it means killing any staff member who comes into contact with her. A story about a woman with absolutely no agency at all in her life, she’s getting a checkup because her work is making her, she goes to floor 8 because she’s told to, she’s admitted against her will, not told what exactly she’s...
Transformers: Age of Extinction: Directed by Michael Bay. With Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Nicola Peltz. When humanity allies with a bounty hunter in pursuit of Optimus Prime, the Autobots turn to a mechanic and his family for help. The fourth of the films, this one is likely the longest, if only because they filmed an entire film’s worth of material in Hong Kong. It’s actually somewhat more enjoyable than the previous film, nearly completely toning down cheeseball dialogue and plot elements, but there were a few times that I distinctly felt like the CGI wasn’t up to snuff,...
Solo: A Star Wars Story: Directed by Ron Howard. With Alden Ehrenreich, Joonas Suotamo, Woody Harrelson, Emilia Clarke. Board the Millennium Falcon and journey to a galaxy far, far away in an epic action-adventure that will set the course of one of the Star Wars saga’s most unlikely heroes. Watched this after the other two star wars films I watched this week, it’s still a good film that doesn’t exactly stick the landing, but it definitely doesn’t miss the mark by very much. Buy On Amazon!
