Author: tiki god

Terra Willy: Directed by Eric Tosti. With Landen Beattie, Jason Anthony, Laura Post, Keith Silverstein. Upon the destruction of their ship, Willy is separated from his parents. He lands on a wild and unexplored planet and with the help of Buck, a survival robot, he will have to hold until the arrival of a rescue mission. I’ve been looking for this movie for years, I think it had a limited released in 2019, then it just sorta disappeared. Luckily I keep track of movies that look interesting over on 2queue.com, and I finally found it on a random streaming site,...

Willow: Directed by Ron Howard. With Val Kilmer, Joanne Whalley, Warwick Davis, Jean Marsh. A young farmer is chosen to undertake a perilous journey in order to protect a special baby from an evil queen. It’s been ages since I’ve seen this film with what I can only assume is the entire population of adults under 4 feet. I had forgotten a great deal about the film and was largely going in blind again, but enjoyed myself none the less. Buy On Amazon!

Transformers: The Last Knight: Directed by Michael Bay. With Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Duhamel, Laura Haddock. A deadly threat from Earth’s history reappears and a hunt for a lost artifact takes place between Autobots and Decepticons, while Optimus Prime encounters his creator in space. Arguably the most stupid episode of the franchise, but also arguably the strongest on plot, animation, and drama. Not acting though, oof. It was released back in 2017 and I don’t have the emotional investment to see when/if a sequel is happening, maybe the story elements they were setting up here were forgone for the...

The Bubble: Directed by Judd Apatow. With Harry Trevaldwyn, Samson Kayo, Peter Serafinowicz, Danielle Vitalis. A group of actors and actresses stuck inside a pandemic bubble at a hotel attempts to complete a film. You’d think the movie would be an overweight horror of celebrity encounters with this many A-Listers in a single film, something like the Expendables franchise or even Hollywood Squares, but instead what we get is a complete rip on the concept of celebrity and how these guys are really just like us in nearly no way at all. It’s a fun movie that I highly suggest...

Creature: Directed by William Malone. With Stan Ivar, Wendy Schaal, Lyman Ward, Robert Jaffe. After a member of a geological research team who was sent to Saturn’s largest moon: Titan crashes their spacecraft into a space station, another team is sent to Titan to investigate, not knowing the terror that awaits them. A rather pedestrian film with bad framing, a mediocre sound track, poorly done special effects, and “one take” feeling acting. That is, right up until the characters in the film directly reference 1951’s “The Thing From Another World”, which John Carpenter made an extremely well received sequel to...

The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes: Directed by Robert Butler. With Kurt Russell, Cesar Romero, Joe Flynn, William Schallert. At Medfield College, an accident with a donated computer gives Dexter Riley the ability to remember any knowledge learned instantly and perfectly. Featuring an extremely young still charismatic Kurt Russell, this is an early version of the same concept of the “Chuck” television series, only this one from 1969 makes slightly more sense, as it’s not the data itself that gets transferred to the main character, but the ability to store, then process information itself. Ok, so in reality when you grab...

Wyvern: Directed by Steven R. Monroe. With Nick Chinlund, Erin Karpluk, Barry Corbin, Elaine Miles. They Find a Live Wyvern in small town Alaska. Set in Alaska, or at least an abandoned movie lot with plenty of Alaskan vacation footage, the film is both a low budget dragon fight and an entertainingly competent made for TV Wyvern experience. I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the CGI, though the budget shines through when you notice that the CGI Wyvern doesn’t actually physically interact with anything and nearly all of it’s close up set pieces are static shots without much...

Death on the Nile: Directed by Kenneth Branagh. With Michael Rouse, Alaa Safi, Orlando Seale, Charlie Anson. While on vacation on the Nile, Hercule Poirot must investigate the murder of a young heiress. The trailer had me interested, back when I first saw in in the before times, and the cast sealed the deal when I saw exactly who was in it and the types of characters they were playing. I wasn’t familiar with the story before watching it, and while the basic blocks of a murder mystery are there, the pieces are all used in ways that seemed novel...

X-Ray: Directed by Boaz Davidson. With Barbi Benton, Charles Lucia, Jon Van Ness, John Warner Williams. While receiving a routine check-up, a woman finds herself stranded on the hospital’s eighth floor, while someone dressed as a doctor is intent on her never leaving, even if it means killing any staff member who comes into contact with her. A story about a woman with absolutely no agency at all in her life, she’s getting a checkup because her work is making her, she goes to floor 8 because she’s told to, she’s admitted against her will, not told what exactly she’s...