Category: Reviews of Movies
The Princess Diaries: Directed by Garry Marshall. With Julie Andrews, Anne Hathaway, Hector Elizondo, Heather Matarazzo. Mia Thermopolis has just found out that she is the heir apparent to the throne of Genovia. With her friends Lilly and Michael Moscovitz in tow, she tries to navigate through the rest of her sixteenth year. I bought, then watched this because Stan Lee makes a 5 to 10 second appearance in the second film. I was happy to discover that this isn’t just a fluffy Disney princess story, but is actually a breakout role for the fantastic Anne Hathaway, helped along on...
The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement: Directed by Garry Marshall. With Anne Hathaway, Julie Andrews, Hector Elizondo, John Rhys-Davies. Now settled in Genovia, Princess Mia faces a new revelation: she is being primed for an arranged marriage to an English suitor. Finally, after sitting through nearly the entire movie, I get what I spent money to see: a very typical Stan Lee cameo that had absolutely no reason to be in this fairly well made “fish out of water learning to be a new princess” movie. From my brief internet sleuthing, looks like the late Garry Marshall and Stan Lee...
Jay and Silent Bob Reboot: Directed by Kevin Smith. With Joey Lauren Adams, Ben Affleck, Fred Armisen, Diedrich Bader. Jay and Silent Bob inadvertently sign away their names and rights to the new Bluntman and Chronic movie. Now they head to Hollywood to stop the film from being made. Along the way Jay discovers that he is a father. Back when I first watched this I said that I enjoyed the bloopers and other funny stuff during the credits more than the film itself and while that’s still true, I think I enjoyed the film somewhat more now that I’ve...
White Noise: Directed by Noah Baumbach. With Don Cheadle, Madison Gaughan, Douglas Brodax, Carly Brodax. Dramatizes a contemporary American family’s attempts to deal with the mundane conflicts of everyday life while grappling with the universal mysteries of love, death, and the possibility of happiness in an uncertain world. An over the top zany adventure in mediocrity that didn’t land for me, but if you enjoy surreal post-apocalyptic stories with dark humor, this might be up your alley. Buy On Amazon!
Contact: Directed by Robert Zemeckis. With Jena Malone, David Morse, Jodie Foster, Geoffrey Blake. Dr. Ellie Arroway, after years of searching, finds conclusive radio proof of extraterrestrial intelligence, sending plans for a mysterious machine. After reading the book for the first time, of course I had to watch the movie again. I’m still thinking that I like the story edits for the movie much better than the story in the book, but at the same time, the book is so much more fleshed out. That’s not necessarily a surprise, but it is what it is. Buy On Amazon!
The Boxcar Children: Directed by Daniel Chuba, Mark A.Z. Dippé, Kyungho Jo. With Illeana Douglas, Mackenzie Foy, Zachary Gordon, Joey King. Four children set out on a journey to find a new home. If you were judge this from the poster alone, or even the screenshots on the back of the dvd, you might think this is a low budget, low effect cash grab involving a 99 year old beloved franchise of books with over 160 titles. Turns out though, that this is a faithful adaptation for the most part, with a competently done soundtrack and well known and recognizable...
Brave: Directed by Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman, Steve Purcell. With Kelly Macdonald, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson, Julie Walters. Determined to make her own path in life, Princess Merida defies a custom that brings chaos to her kingdom. Granted one wish, Merida must rely on her bravery and her archery skills to undo a beastly curse. I spent a weekend with kids, so we watched a couple of kids movies, the first of which was Brave, a movie that I’ve seen at least a dozen times and the film largely holds up to my original opinions of the film. Seeing it...
Teen Titans GO! To the Movies: Directed by Aaron Horvath, Peter Rida Michail. With Greg Cipes, Scott Menville, Khary Payton, Tara Strong. A villain’s maniacal plan for world domination sidetracks five teenage superheroes who dream of Hollywood stardom. This remains one of the best DC movies that I’ve seen in the last 10 years, from the perfect soundtrack to Stan Lee appearing not once, but twice, to deadpool not being in it (maybe?) and this being just a trailer or another movie that I think I’ve seen but can’t remember anything about. Buy On Amazon!
This Place Rules: Directed by Andrew Callaghan. With Mike Busey, Andrew Callaghan, Alex Jones, Edward X. Young. Follows events and characters surrounding the January 6th, 2021 insurrection of the U.S. Capital Building in the days preceding the attack. Andrew Callaghan’s gonzo style of documentary creation has long been a fascinating look into whatever event or subject he’s focused on, and “This Place Rules” is no different, with a much too close look and participation in some of the formative events that lead up to the riots in January 2021. It’s well made but exceptionally creepy to watch. Buy On Amazon!
Beyond the Poseidon Adventure: Directed by Irwin Allen. With Michael Caine, Sally Field, Telly Savalas, Peter Boyle. An extension of the previous film, wherein a cache of adventurers return to the overturned ship to seek several fortunes. It’s a rare sequel that matches or exceeds the preceeding movie, but Beyond The Poseidon Adventure does this by completely changing the genre and featuring the top level talents of Michael Caine, Sally Field, Telly Savalas, and Slim Pickens. The movie picks up just seconds after the first film finishes with Caine as the captain of an unbelievably small boat finding the upside...
Glass Onion: Directed by Rian Johnson. With Daniel Craig, Edward Norton, Janelle Monáe, Kathryn Hahn. Famed Southern detective Benoit Blanc travels to Greece for his latest case. I can see why they made another movie in this franchise, though the director’s assertion that he didn’t want to include the franchise name of “Knives Out” in title is just plain silly to me. I would never have known it was another Benoit Blanc mystery if not for the subtitle, so I’m happy that someone either convinced him to have it there or straight up overruled him. If you enjoyed the first...
The Invisible Maniac: Directed by Adam Rifkin. With Noel Peters, Savannah, Stephanie Blake, Melissa Moore. An invisible scientist escapes from an asylum and teaches high-school physics to nubile teens. The 4k is everything I had hoped and feared it would be, and I honestly think it was missing a scene that remember with the mute janitor and the audio was somewhat blown out at the beginning and end, but the slipcover was amazing and I guess it’ll look great up on a shelf in my office? Regardless, I love the campy nature of the film and Noel Peters is the...
The Poseidon Adventure: Directed by Ronald Neame. With Gene Hackman, Ernest Borgnine, Red Buttons, Carol Lynley. Nine people explore a cruise ship at sea in a manner that turns their whole lives upside down. I thought I would have time to watch this over New Years Eve, but between making food for the party of 2 and watching Dolly and Miley’s NYE show, I ran out of time and sobriety to watch it that night. But have no fear! I made room for it just a short couple days later. Surprisingly, this movie isn’t available for streaming on any of...
What Dreams May Come: Directed by Vincent Ward. With Robin Williams, Cuba Gooding Jr., Annabella Sciorra, Max von Sydow. Chris Nielsen dies in an accident, and enters Heaven. But when he discovers that his beloved wife Annie has killed herself out of grief over the loss, he embarks on an afterlife adventure to reunite with her. Another stop along my way to officially watching all of Robin’s films, “What Dreams May Come” has always been a rough film for me to watch, as the topics strike a little to close to home for my comfort. Robin Williams and Annabella Sciorra...
Violent Night: Directed by Tommy Wirkola. With David Harbour, John Leguizamo, Beverly D’Angelo, Alex Hassell. When a group of mercenaries attack the estate of a wealthy family, Santa Claus must step in to save the day (and Christmas). “I know you’re an idiot, but don’t be an idiot out loud.” John Leguizamo as bad guy is one of the best parts of this great holiday film filled with christmas related violence and a back story for Kringle that’s unique to me. All the pieces of the movie work well together and even the goofy / sappy stuff plays well. Buy...
300: Rise of an Empire: Directed by Noam Murro. With Sullivan Stapleton, Eva Green, Lena Headey, Hans Matheson. Greek general Themistocles of Athens leads the naval charge against invading Persian forces led by mortal-turned-god Xerxes and Artemisia, vengeful commander of the Persian navy. This is a prequel / sidequel / sequel to “300”, but it misses most of the great things of the first movie and doesn’t really add much to the awesome stuff that came from the source material. In this movie, everyone are apparently made of water balloons filled with blood, just waiting for the slightest scratch to...
Heading for Heaven: Directed by Lewis D. Collins. With Stuart Erwin, Glenda Farrell, Russ Vincent, Irene Ryan. Stuart Erwin plays a small-town real estate agent who owns much property which, for several generations, has failed to sell even while the town has grown. It becomes known, except to Erwin, that the property is being considered for the new airport and the owner will make a small fortune. He is swarmed upon by an unscrupulous swami (Russ Vincent)and his equally-crooked business partner, and Erwin is soon convinced that he hasn’t long to live. With his life a mess, he leaves home...
Annihilation: Directed by Alex Garland. With Natalie Portman, Benedict Wong, Sonoya Mizuno, David Gyasi. A biologist signs up for a dangerous, secret expedition into a mysterious zone where the laws of nature don’t apply. I remember seeing this film in the theater alone and it absolutely blew my mind, particularly the final 20 minutes in the light house. The 4k/HDR disk doesn’t disappoint and is worth every penny that someone spent to give it to me as a gift. Buy On Amazon!
Strange World: Directed by Don Hall, Qui Nguyen. With Jake Gyllenhaal, Dennis Quaid, Jaboukie Young-White, Gabrielle Union. The legendary Clades are a family of explorers whose differences threaten to topple their latest and most crucial mission. I remember seeing a few trailers for this in front of movies at the theater, but other than that, there was a significant lack of marketing, which is a damn shame, as this is a fun and unique take on a hilarious concept that opens all sorts of questions about eh universe that these characters all live in. It’s on D+ now, so if...
Sonic the Hedgehog 2: Directed by Jeff Fowler. With James Marsden, Jim Carrey, Ben Schwartz, Tika Sumpter. When the manic Dr Robotnik returns to Earth with a new ally, Knuckles the Echidna, Sonic and his new friend Tails is all that stands in their way. Still a fun movie with some minor issues, none of which are show stoppers. I have some major complaints about what’s going on with the HDR in the movie, but I’m not entirely sure if that’s some weird interaction between my streaming device (xbox one this time) or my television. I still smile like a...
Betty White: First Lady of Television: Directed by Steve Boettcher. With Betty White, Valerie Bertinelli, Sandra Bullock, Tim Conway. A look at Betty White’s life and career features behind-the-scenes clips of her work on television and comments from her friends and co-stars. One of the last films that I watched in 2022, but here I am saying I watched it during 2023. It’s a great look bad at a wonderful career, one that I didn’t know spanned as many tv series and decades as it did. I also didn’t know that the entire seven seasons of the Mary Tyler Moore...
300: Directed by Zack Snyder. With Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Dominic West, David Wenham. King Leonidas of Sparta and a force of 300 men fight the Persians at Thermopylae in 480 B.C. I’m pretty sure this is the movie that gave Zack Snyder the political clout to be given the reigns to the DCU. Sadly the success of “300” was accomplished with slow motion, hyper masculine men doing hyper masculine things, all with some extremely heavy filters and high contrast cinematography, none of which translated well enough to be effective in comic books movies. They did certainly work for this...
Woooooo! Becoming Ric Flair: Directed by Ben Houser. With Ric Flair, Tom Rinaldi. “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, the most prolific and controversial Superstar in professional wrestling history, discusses his 50-year Hall of Fame career. I never did watch a ton of wrestling during Ric Flair’s time at the top, but it would be hard to say that I never heard of the dude, he was at the center of a LOT of interesting stuff going on in the industry. This is a great, if self serving, documentary about his blessed but troubled life. It barely touches on his less than...
It’s Christmas, Eve: Directed by Tibor Takács. With LeAnn Rimes, Tyler Hynes, Gwynyth Walsh, Laurie Murdoch. An interim school superintendent finds herself in a tough spot when she is assigned to shut down a school’s failing music program, and must come to terms with her musical past. I was only able to hear about 1/10 of the film and only visually saw about 1/3 of it, but it was on a tv that I was sitting near for several hours, so I figured that counts as being technically “watched”. the bits and bobs that I was able to see were...
Secret of the Incas: Directed by Jerry Hopper. With Charlton Heston, Robert Young, Nicole Maurey, Thomas Mitchell. An adventurer searchers for hidden treasure in the Peruvian jungles. I finally got around to watching the amazing bluray that I bought from Grindhouse Video. Mind you I didn’t watch the movie proper, I watched it while a film historian went over every single amazing detail they could possible talk about, including the whole reason I ended up buying the film, Glenda Farrell! She’s not playing a main character, but I’m slowly building a collection of movies with her in it and one...
Good Will Hunting: Directed by Gus Van Sant. With Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Stellan Skarsgård, John Mighton. Will Hunting, a janitor at M.I.T., has a gift for mathematics, but needs help from a psychologist to find direction in his life. As one of Robin’s finer moments on screen, it’s usually remembered as the movie that Ben Affleck and Matt Damon won screenwriting awards for, which of course are well deserved. I had forgotten that Minnie Driver was in the film and was pleasantly surprised to see her name pop up at the beginning, Buy On Amazon!
Don’t Open Till Christmas: Directed by Edmund Purdom. With Edmund Purdom, Alan Lake, Belinda Mayne, Mark Jones. Somebody with very little Christmas spirit is killing anyone in a Santa suit one London holiday season, and Scotland Yard has to stop him before he makes his exploits an annual tradition. Low budget and creepy, but there’s a bit of charm in the movie that I love. Buy On Amazon!
Mallrats: Directed by Kevin Smith. With Shannen Doherty, Jeremy London, Jason Lee, Claire Forlani. Both dumped by their girlfriends, two best friends seek refuge in the local mall. I finally own this (again) on disk, but this time it’s a Blu-ray and it came with all sorts of cool stuff, like the extended version of the film. The extended version isn’t better than the theatrical version, in fact I’d say it’s only barely the same movie as the version we all know and love. There’s an extra 30 minutes of set up before they even get to the dang mall!...
Avatar: The Way of Water: Directed by James Cameron. With Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang. Jake Sully lives with his newfound family formed on the extrasolar moon Pandora. Once a familiar threat returns to finish what was previously started, Jake must work with Neytiri and the army of the Na’vi race to protect their home. I have seen this movie and my initial reactions are that it’s definitely a movie, it’s definitely set in the same universe that the first movie was in, I’m pretty sure these are mostly the same actors, but it doesn’t quite capture...
Enola Holmes 2: Directed by Harry Bradbeer. With Millie Bobby Brown, Henry Cavill, David Thewlis, Louis Partridge. Now a detective-for-hire, Enola Holmes takes on her first official case to find a missing girl as the sparks of a dangerous conspiracy ignite a mystery that requires the help of friends – and Sherlock himself – to unravel. As good as the first one in some ways and much better in many others, Millie Bobby Brown is firmly capable of being the lead in any film in my humble opinion. The mystery of this story is much less royal, but the much...
The Disorderly Orderly: Directed by Frank Tashlin. With Jerry Lewis, Glenda Farrell, Susan Oliver, Everett Sloane. Medical student Jerome Littlefield works as an orderly at a private clinic where he creates havoc due to his ineptitude. Not a good film, not by any stretch of the imagination, but I did get to see an older Glenda Farell doing her thing. My only other experience with her acting was from about 25 years before this film, so her performance here is much more muted and subtle than I was expecting. Guess you can only keep that classic Farrell energy up for...
The Replacement Killers: Directed by Antoine Fuqua. With Chow Yun-Fat, Mira Sorvino, Michael Rooker, Kenneth Tsang. A troubled hitman seeks aid from a forger to help him get papers to China. However, the drug lord has hired replacements to finish the job, and kill the hitman. Unbelievably full of cool things, circa 1998: leather trench coats, small caliber guns, slow motion, euro techno, and a hit man on the run for refusing to kill a cop with a family. It’s a little more convoluted than that, but as far as “assassin on the run” movies go, this is a good...
Alien from L.A.: Directed by Albert Pyun. With Kathy Ireland, William R. Moses, Richard Haines, Don Michael Paul. A young woman with a childish voice travels to Africa looking for her missing archaeologist father, and stumbles into a strange subterranean civilization. An absolutely fantastical adventure of a pitifully ugly and awkward young woman who falls down a bottomless pit to the center of the earth to save her father, who has also fallen down that same stupid pit. Playing this disgusting looking girl with big glasses, terrible hair, and revolting eyebrows is Kathy Ireland, and actress that would go on...
The Night Before: Directed by Jonathan Levine. With Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen, Anthony Mackie, Jillian Bell. On Christmas Eve, three lifelong friends spend the night in New York City looking for the Holy Grail of Christmas parties. Such a fun film, filled with drugs and a ton of really inappropriate but totally hilarious situations, all wrapped up with a great Christmas message. This isn’t my first time watching the film, but I got it for free because Sony really likes me. Also, I bought enough movies to get it as a rewards, but I’d like to think they’re huge fans...
Home Sweet Home Alone: Directed by Dan Mazer. With Ellie Kemper, Rob Delaney, Archie Yates, Aisling Bea. A married couple tries to steal back a valuable heirloom from a troublesome kid. This is the 5th or 6th film in the franchise and while I think they’ve beaten the dead horse into a fine dust, this isn’t a bad film, and now I’m wondering what it would look like if Disney just had a new version of the movie out every couple years with an completely different cast, difference creative team, and different set of circumstances. This time around there’s no...
The Trial of the Incredible Hulk: Directed by Bill Bixby. With Bill Bixby, Lou Ferrigno, Marta DuBois, Nancy Everhard. When Banner is held as a witness to a violent crime linked to the Kingpin, the fugitive is helped by lawyer Matt Murdock who is also the superhero, Daredevil. This is the movie that I actually meant to buy, as it features Stan “The Man” Lee as one of the random jury members during a dream sequence trial of the Incredible Hulk. That’s right: the name of the movie is based on something that doesn’t even ‘really’ happen in the film!...
Spirited: Directed by Sean Anders. With Will Ferrell, Ryan Reynolds, Octavia Spencer, Patrick Page. A musical version of Charles Dickens’s story of a miserly misanthrope who is taken on a magical journey. I wasn’t expecting a musical, but that’s what I got and I’m perfectly happy with it. It’s the same story that you’re familiar with, but with some twisted twists that are all both expected and welcomingly new. Buy On Amazon!
The Incredible Hulk Returns: Directed by Nicholas Corea, Bill Bixby. With Bill Bixby, Lou Ferrigno, Jack Colvin, Lee Purcell. Hopefully on the verge of curing his Hulk condition, Banner meets his colleague, Don Blake, who is mystically linked to a Viking warrior, Thor. This one has Thor in it! It’s not a terrible film and it really wears it’s comic book ambitions right there on it’s sleeve. Buy On Amazon!
The Santa Clause 2: Directed by Michael Lembeck. With Tim Allen, Elizabeth Mitchell, David Krumholtz, Eric Lloyd. Scott Calvin has been a humble Santa Claus for eight years, but it might come to an end if he doesn’t find a Mrs. Claus. A novel way of keeping the “Clause” aspect of the franchise going, but I’m kinda skeeved out by the idea that Santa was using magic to convince the woman to love him, instead of allowing his completely lovable normal self to win her over. Was nice to see Elizabeth Mitchell again, it took me a minute to realize...
The Santa Clause: Directed by John Pasquin. With Tim Allen, Judge Reinhold, Wendy Crewson, Eric Lloyd. When a man inadvertently makes Santa fall off his roof on Christmas Eve, he finds himself magically recruited to take his place. Just on the edge of inappropriate the entire movie, it never once crosses the line from heartfelt interesting Christmas movie into crass malarkey, and even ends up adding to the genre of Christmas movies that don’t suck. Buy On Amazon!
The Invisible Maniac: Directed by Adam Rifkin. With Noel Peters, Savannah, Stephanie Blake, Melissa Moore. An invisible scientist escapes from an asylum and teaches high-school physics to nubile teens. Yet another trashy film with all sorts of trashy nudity, cheap sets, and a plot that works, but just barely. I’m actually reminded of Re-Animator when I think back to this film, there’s a lot of similarities, but they’re mostly on the surface. I think I have a 4k edition of this coming in the mail and it’s going to include some special features, so I look forward to any kind...
Fortress of Amerikkka: Directed by Eric Louzil. With Gene LeBrock, Kellee Bradley, David Crane, William J. Kulzer. A rebel is planing revenge against a corrupted sheriff. Meanwhile in the nearby woods, a crazy general is leading a secret militia called “Fortress of Amerikkka” who brutally kill anyone trespassing close to their campgrounds. I’m been on a trashy movie kick lately and this perfectly fits the bill. Released in 1989, there’s plenty of weird Regan-esque politics, heavy handed messages, open racism, exotic nude women, non-exotic nude women, nude women, and absolutely jacked guys delivering one liners that make only the barest...
Good Night Oppy: Directed by Ryan White. With Angela Bassett, Steve Squyres, Moogega Cooper, Abigail Fraeman. The film follows Opportunity, the Mars Exploration Rover affectionately dubbed Oppy by her creators and scientists at NASA. Oppy was originally expected to live for only 90 days but she ultimately explored Mars for nearly 15 years. Did I expect to cry about a couple of dumb rovers on some dumb planet? No. Did I? You bet your ass I did. This is an emotional tale, expertly scripted, shot, narrated, and with a musical score that might make me cry just by itself. Buy...
Atlantis: The Lost Empire: Directed by Gary Trousdale, Kirk Wise. With Corey Burton, Claudia Christian, Michael J. Fox, James Garner. A young linguist named Milo Thatch joins an intrepid group of explorers to find the mysterious lost continent of Atlantis. I’m sure that I would have seen this when it came out, but I have no memory of it, and it would have been well before I was logging the movies as I watched them, so I’m considering this my first time. I’m aware of the reputation that the movie has with Disney fans, it’s one of the less well...
The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special: Directed by James Gunn. With Luke Klein, Sean Gunn, Karen Gillan, Michael Rooker. Star-Lord, Drax, Rocket, Mantis, and Groot engage in some spirited shenanigans in an all-new original special created for Disney+. Surprisingly better than I was expecting, but less than I was hoping for, if that makes any sort of sense. There’s plenty of time padding and the story is pretty light, but it’s a fun enough romp on the cosmic side of the MCU to be worth the hour of your time it’ll take to watch. Buy On Amazon!
Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch: Directed by Michael LaBash, Tony Leondis. With Chris Sanders, Dakota Fanning, Tia Carrere, David Ogden Stiers. A malfunction threatens to destroy Stitch and his friendship with Lilo! As cute as the first one, and just as fine as the second one, this is the third Stitch film, paradoxically named “Lilo & Stitch 2”. It follows the tv series, but makes absolutely no reference to it at all, which is good, because I’ve still not finished it. Buy On Amazon!
Venom: Let There Be Carnage: Directed by Andy Serkis. With Tom Hardy, Woody Harrelson, Michelle Williams, Naomie Harris. Eddie Brock attempts to reignite his career by interviewing serial killer Cletus Kasady, who becomes the host of the symbiote Carnage and escapes prison after a failed execution. After watching VENOM with the wife, she suggested that she had never seen this and wanted to watch it, so we did. It’s still a perfectly fine movie that I don’t appreciate at all. Buy On Amazon!
Venom: Directed by Ruben Fleischer. With Tom Hardy, Michelle Williams, Riz Ahmed, Scott Haze. A failed reporter is bonded to an alien entity, one of many symbiotes who have invaded Earth. But the being takes a liking to Earth and decides to protect it. I bought this because it was only $10 and I needed the physical edition for a “Stan Lee” movie collection I’m slowly putting together. Buy On Amazon!
John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum: Directed by Chad Stahelski. With Keanu Reeves, Halle Berry, Ian McShane, Laurence Fishburne. John Wick is on the run after killing a member of the international assassins’ guild, and with a $14 million price tag on his head, he is the target of hit men and women everywhere. IMHO this is the weakest of the three films, with no one set piece that I look back on fondly, and about 3 of them that I look back on and just don’t like. The motorcycles, the dogs with Halle Berry, the 20 minute long glass...
Bolt: Directed by Byron Howard, Chris Williams. With John Travolta, Miley Cyrus, Susie Essman, Mark Walton. The canine star of a fictional sci-fi/action show that believes his powers are real embarks on a cross country trek to save his co-star from a threat he believes is just as real. I ran into a discussion about this film on reddit with a post about how this movie went from being a concept called “American Dog” to the eventual movie that it became. They mentioned someone was claiming this was one of the best Disney films released in 2008, which I found...