Category: Reviews of Movies
Villains Incorporated: Directed by Jeremy Warner. With Mallory Everton, Colin Mochrie, Jason Gray, Billy Mann. After the death of their boss, Beatrix, Cain and Harold are left destitute living in an abandoned grocery store. Beatrix is determined that they will fight on their own and take over the world by any means necessary. I didn’t really know anything about this film other than Colin Mochrie was in it and the name sounded cool, and boy it was a heck of a ride. I’ve been reading a ton of superhero books in the last few years and this feels like an...
Chariot: Directed by Adam Sigal. With Thomas Mann, Rosa Salazar, Scout Taylor-Compton, Shane West. A story about a corporation and a doctor (John Malkovich) that oversees the process of reincarnation, and a young man (Thomas Mann) who becomes a glitch in the system when he encounters a woman (Rosa Salazar) he loved in a previous life. I thought this was a completely different film when I started streaming it, realized my error about 2 minutes in but decided to let it ride and boy what a ride it was. Going in blind really helped keep me on my toes and...
The Sleepover: Directed by Trish Sie. With Sadie Stanley, Maxwell Simkins, Cree, Lucas Jaye. When two siblings discover their seemingly normal mom is a former thief in witness protection who has been forced to pull one last job, they team up to rescue her over the course of an action-packed night. A family friendly caper film that wears it’s heart on it’s sleeve, it was a fun and enjoyable romp with a family coming to terms with the lies that their mother told them in order to protect them from the bad guys. Also, Maxwell Simkins is going to go...
Fear the Night: Directed by Neil LaBute. With Maggie Q, Ito Aghayere, Philip Burke, James Carpinello. Follows Iraqi war veteran Tess, as she prepares to strike back after a group of home invaders attack during her sister’s bachelorette party, and she discovers that they are hellbent on not leaving any witnesses behind. It’s a familiar story, friends go off on a camping / vacation trip, locals decide to mess with them, and it turns out that one of the friends has the willpower and knowhow to fight back and maybe even survive. Just because this is a familiar story though...
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare: Directed by Guy Ritchie. With Henry Cavill, Alan Ritchson, Alex Pettyfer, Eiza González. The British military recruits a small group of highly skilled soldiers to strike against German forces behind enemy lines during World War II. I generally find Guy Ritchie’s films to be entertaining but slightly underwhelming, and while there’s moments that this movie edges up to being a parody of itself, it never goes over the line and ended up being a pretty good story with captivating action and acting. It’s good to see Alan Richardson joining stars like Henry Cavill, Eiza Gonzalez,...
G.I. Joe: The Movie: Directed by Don Jurwich. With Charlie Adler, Shuko Akune, Jack Angel, Michael Bell. The heroic G.I. Joe action force must oppose the ruthless Cobra organization that has secretly allied with a subterranean reptilian people who were their founders. Found this whole movie on youtube and I could only vaguely remember the broad strokes of the story but I remember the theme song being great and the action being superb. Turns out that my 20 year old memory wasn’t exactly right, while the song is pretty great, the rest of the movie is standard US animated quality...
The Crow: Directed by Alex Proyas. With Brandon Lee, Rochelle Davis, Ernie Hudson, Michael Wincott. A man brutally murdered comes back to life as an undead avenger of his and his fiancée’s murder. With an upcoming remake / reboot / sequel / prequel about to be released in just a few short weeks, I realized that i never really gave this franchise a proper watch, so here we are with 1994’s adaption of the comic series by the same name. I’ve not read any of the comics, but judging from just the movie, it seems to be a typical indie...
Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver: Directed by Zack Snyder. With Sofia Boutella, Anthony Hopkins, Ed Skrein, Jena Malone. Kora and surviving warriors prepare to defend Veldt, their new home, alongside its people against the Realm. The warriors face their pasts, revealing their motivations before the Realm’s forces arrive to crush the growing rebellion. More Zack Snyder goodness, with sexy people shooting and killing each other in slow motion nonsense set to an absolute banger of a soundtrack. I’ve read that there’s supposed to be R rated versions of these movies that are going to come out sooner or...
Cherry: Directed by Anthony Russo, Joe Russo. With Tom Holland, Ciara Bravo, Jack Reynor, Michael Rispoli. Cherry drifts from college dropout to army medic in Iraq – anchored only by his true love, Emily. But after returning from the war with PTSD, his life spirals into drugs and crime as he struggles to find his place in the world. IIRC, the reviews for this one weren’t all that forgiving, but I found “Cherry” to be a enthralling look into how someone goes from a normal city boy to something much worse, all because of one decision made in heat of...
Candy Land: Directed by John Swab. With Olivia Luccardi, Sam Quartin, Eden Brolin, Owen Campbell. A seemingly naive and devout young woman navigates her way into the underground world of truck stop sex workers a.k.a. “lot lizards.” There’s a couple different versions of the movie synopsis and all of them are pretty good at giving you the basic idea of what’s going to go on, but never lets on what the full experience is going to give you. I honestly had no idea how the movie was going to end when I got to the point where there was only...
Civil War: Directed by Alex Garland. With Nick Offerman, Kirsten Dunst, Wagner Moura, Jefferson White. A journey across a dystopian future America, following a team of military-embedded journalists as they race against time to reach DC before rebel factions descend upon the White House. The director of this film has done a few movies that are series thinking exercises, 28 Day later, Ex-Machina, Annihilation being among them, so when I heard he was doing a study on a possible future during the tail end of our next American Civil War AND it was being released through A24 I knew that...
Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour: Directed by Sam Wrench. With Taylor Swift, Mike Meadows, Max Bernstein, Paul Sidoti. Experience the Eras Tour concert, performed by the one and only Taylor Swift. If you like Taylor Swift, I’m sure that you’ve seen this by now, either in person or at the theaters, but if you just passively enjoy her stuff, this would be a great way to spend a few hours if just for the pageantry and experience. Buy On Amazon!
Corner Office: Directed by Joachim Back. With Jon Hamm, Danny Pudi, Sarah Gadon, Christopher Heyerdahl. As Orson, The Authority’s newest employee, finds himself trapped in the absurdities of corporate life, his alienation deepens when he discovers a room he’s told doesn’t exist. A surreal absurdist look into the insanity and monotony of office life and the lengths that some people either willingly or unwittingly sink to trying to find meaning and fulfillment. It’s a great movie that had me guessing right up until the end as to the veracity of our narrator and if his version of reality was one...
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey: Directed by Rhys Frake-Waterfield. With Nikolai Leon, Maria Taylor, Natasha Rose Mills, Amber Doig-Thorne. After Christopher Robin abandons them for college, Pooh and Piglet embark on a bloody rampage as they search for a new source of food. As far as public domain horror parodies go, this one isn’t too bad, my only complaint is that the creatures of the 100 Acre Wood are obviously just people in some pretty terrible masks, gloves, and body suits. The actual premise works for me on multiple levels, but I honestly would have taken that premise in a different...
The Terminal Man: Directed by Mike Hodges. With George Segal, Joan Hackett, Richard Dysart, Donald Moffat. Hoping to cure his violent seizures, a man agrees to a series of experimental microcomputers inserted into his brain but inadvertently discovers that violence now triggers a pleasurable response to his brain. The concept here is a great one but the implementation is more “talk about the cool stuff” instead of letting the cool stuff happen on screen. I actually had to time one of the scenes, when they’re implanting a chip into the guy’s head because I thought it had looped somehow, but...
Voodoo Passion: Directed by Jesús Franco. With Vicky Adams, Ada Tauler, Karine Gambier, Jack Taylor. Susan comes to Haiti to be with her husband. His naked sister asks her, if she’s ever made love to a woman. Susan dreams vividly of nudity, Voodoo rituals and killing. Otherwide known as “Call of the Blonde Goddess”, I was sucked in by this fantastic poster and the movie itself ended up being about what i thought it was going to be, with barely any clothing and a fair bit of weird white curiosity of a black religion with all the accouchements that comes...
Something the Lord Made: Directed by Joseph Sargent. With Cliff McMullen, Yasiin Bey, Luray Cooper, Alan Rickman. A dramatization of the relationship between heart surgery pioneers Alfred Blalock and Vivien Thomas. Another entry in the “I saw a scene on TikTok that looked interesting, so I watched the whole movie” and it turns out that Alan Rickman and Mos Def were both great actors at the time this movie was made, it was well written, and didn’t present the men as unstoppable saviors of humanity, but instead as fallible people that had their ups and downs. Buy On Amazon!
Archive: Directed by Gavin Rothery. With Theo James, Stacy Martin, Rhona Mitra, Peter Ferdinando. 2038: George Almore is working on a true human-equivalent AI. His latest prototype is almost ready. This sensitive phase is also the riskiest. Especially as he has a goal that must be hidden at all costs. Feels low budget, but is much more clever than I initially thought with some well laid out foreshadowing that I noticed, but was bamboozeled into thinking was referring to something else. Also, the robots are all absolutely adorable and I wish I had one in my life. Sorta, they do...
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire: Directed by Adam Wingard. With Rebecca Hall, Brian Tyree Henry, Dan Stevens, Kaylee Hottle. Two ancient titans, Godzilla and Kong, clash in an epic battle as humans unravel their intertwined origins and connection to Skull Island’s mysteries. A perfectly fine sequel to the previous “Godzilla Vs Kong”, this time it’s “Godzilla x Kong” which I just learned a few minutes ago is supposed to be pronounced “Godzilla Kong”, which of course is nonsense. Don’t put the letter in there if you don’t it spoken, right? Kong gets the king portion of screen time in...
Immaculate: Directed by Michael Mohan. With Sydney Sweeney, Álvaro Morte, Simona Tabasco, Benedetta Porcaroli. Cecilia, a woman of devout faith, is warmly welcomed to the picture-perfect Italian countryside where she is offered a new role at an illustrious convent. But it becomes clear to Cecilia that her new home harbors dark and horrifying secrets. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a movie that was a singular genre without any stray drifting into another, and this is nothing more than a straight horror film. No ironic jokes, no dramatic romances, no goofy side characters, nothing at all to distract from...
Ricky Stanicky: Directed by Peter Farrelly. With Riley Stiles, Oscar Wilson, Gaius Nolan, Brian Jarvis. When three childhood best friends pull a prank that goes wrong, they invent the imaginary Ricky Stanicky to get them out of trouble. Twenty years later, they still use the nonexistent Ricky as a handy alibi for their immature behavior. A fun movie with a ton of NSFW humor and all sorts of lessons to be learned about making the right type of friends and how you should really not talk to strange men that come up to you at the bar and offer calamari....
Money Shot: The Pornhub Story: Directed by Suzanne Hillinger. With Noelle Perdue, Michael Stabile, Wolf Hudson, Siri Dahl. Follow the rise of the most famous adult entertainment platform and the recent backlash it has received. It’s a good look at the history of PH, but eventually devolves into some kind of weird expose on a religious organizations intense hatred for free speech, pornography of any kind, and the lengths they sunk to trying to take down a few websites that served up x-rated entertainment. I really wish it went more into the actual title subject and looked into the history...
Blood Red Sky: Directed by Peter Thorwarth. With Peri Baumeister, Carl Anton Koch, Alexander Scheer, Kais Setti. A woman with a mysterious illness is forced into action when a group of terrorists attempt to hijack a transatlantic overnight flight. A mixed language film that’s in both German (I think?) and heavily accented English, so I would suggest having subtitles on for the entire thing, which obviously means you’ll need to be giving the film your full undevoted attention, which sadly it doesn’t quite actually deserve that level of attention. The special effects are darn good and the acting is from...
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World: Directed by Lorene Scafaria. With Steve Carell, Keira Knightley, Adam Brody, Connie Britton. As an asteroid nears Earth, a man finds himself alone after his wife leaves in a panic. He decides to take a road trip to reunite with his high school sweetheart. Accompanying him is a neighbor who inadvertently puts a wrench in his plan. An emotional and emotionally draining look at how people deal with the sudden and inevitable news that everything is going to end for pretty much everyone. Some people run from it, some people drug...
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire: Directed by Gil Kenan. With Paul Rudd, Carrie Coon, Finn Wolfhard, Mckenna Grace. When the discovery of an ancient artifact unleashes an evil force, Ghostbusters new and old must join forces to protect their home and save the world from a second ice age. A perfectly worth entry into the Ghostbusters franchise, I’m happy with how the small steps they’re taking seem to be building towards something larger, but all while making good smaller stories. This is something that Marvel use to do very well, but then they transitioned to focusing more on the meta story and...
Road House: Directed by Doug Liman. With Jake Gyllenhaal, Daniela Melchior, Conor McGregor, Billy Magnussen. Ex-UFC fighter Dalton takes a job as a bouncer at a Florida Keys roadhouse, only to discover that this paradise is not all it seems. The original “Road House” movie is a classic of pure machoism mixed in with small town corruption and this reimagining holds true to the basic premise, doing it justice in a modern setting. I found it entertaining and would suggest that it’s a great movie, except there was a creative decision to use some funny looking “impact” camera work during...
Ghostbusters: Afterlife: Directed by Jason Reitman. With Carrie Coon, Paul Rudd, Finn Wolfhard, Mckenna Grace. When a single mom and her two kids arrive in a small town, they begin to discover their connection to the original Ghostbusters and the secret legacy their grandfather left behind. Watched again while doing some data entry in anticipation of seeing the latest and greatest addition to the franchise this weekend. Guess this is how respectful sequels with a soft reboot element are done. Buy On Amazon!
Damsel: Directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo. With Millie Bobby Brown, Ray Winstone, Angela Bassett, Brooke Carter. A dutiful damsel agrees to marry a handsome prince, only to find the royal family has recruited her as a sacrifice to repay an ancient debt. A great example of a “girls get it done” style of movie that’s not telling you about how great women are, but instead shows you how great they can be, all without being performative or reducing the concept to a trope that’s so over repeated that it’s more of a meme than a useful story element in modern...
Ghostbusters: Directed by Paul Feig. With Zach Woods, Kristen Wiig, Ed Begley Jr., Charles Dance. Following a ghost invasion of Manhattan, paranormal enthusiasts Erin Gilbert and Abby Yates, nuclear engineer Jillian Holtzmann, and subway worker Patty Tolan band together to stop the otherworldly threat. Watched again while doing some data entry in anticipation of seeing the latest and greatest addition to the franchise this weekend. …this was the extended version of the film and it’s a much better version, but still doesn’t do justice to the franchise. I think the ladies never got a fair chance at doing their thing...
The Matrix: Directed by Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski. With Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving. When a beautiful stranger leads computer hacker Neo to a forbidding underworld, he discovers the shocking truth–the life he knows is the elaborate deception of an evil cyber-intelligence. AMC had it back in theaters for it’s 25th anniversary and I was completely stoked to finally get to see it in theaters, I was a poor college freshman when it came out the first time, and at the time it wasn’t exactly easy to see movie trailers without going to the movies or watching...
Ghostbusters II: Directed by Ivan Reitman. With Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Harold Ramis. The discovery of a massive river of ectoplasm and a resurgence of spectral activity allows the staff of Ghostbusters to revive the business. Watched again while doing some data entry in anticipation of seeing the latest and greatest addition to the franchise this weekend. Buy On Amazon!
Ghostbusters: Directed by Ivan Reitman. With Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Harold Ramis. Three parapsychologists forced out of their university funding set up shop as a unique ghost removal service in New York City, attracting frightened yet skeptical customers. Watched again while doing some data entry in anticipation of seeing the latest and greatest addition to the franchise this weekend. Buy On Amazon!
City Without Men: Directed by Sidney Salkow. With Linda Darnell, Edgar Buchanan, Michael Duane, Sara Allgood. A young woman’s husband has been imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit. In order to be near him to try to help him get his sentence overturned, she moves into a boardinghouse near the prison whose residents are the wives of inmates. Set 5 months before WW2 starts, a handsome harbor pilot is engaged to a beautiful school teacher, but in a horifying turn of events, he’s framed for bringing in Japanese spies from a strange boat off shore. e’s sentenced to prison...
Love Lies Bleeding: Directed by Rose Glass. With Anna Baryshnikov, Kristen Stewart, Dave Franco, Katy O’Brian. Gym manager Lou falls for Jackie, a bodybuilder who is passing through town en route to a competition in Las Vegas. The trailer for this went hard as hell and Katy O’Brian’s muscles sealed the deal for me, I loved her performance in The Mandalorian. Added to that, this is an A24 release and while I’ve not seen anything by Director Rose Glass before, if A24 believes in her, I’ll definitely give her a chance. I’m happy I did because this movie is so...
World’s Greatest Dad: Directed by Bobcat Goldthwait. With Robin Williams, Daryl Sabara, Morgan Murphy, Naomi Glick. When his son’s body is found in a humiliating accident, a lonely high school teacher inadvertently attracts an overwhelming amount of community and media attention after covering up the truth with a phony suicide note. I’m still on my quest to watch all of Robin’s films and this one is a bit of a weird pickle with lots of truly hateful language from a unloving son, unfatherly behavior from an unloving father, and people all around them that are out for themselves, with the...
Nimona: Directed by Nick Bruno, Troy Quane. With Chloë Grace Moretz, Riz Ahmed, Eugene Lee Yang, Frances Conroy. When a knight in a futuristic medieval world is framed for a crime he didn’t commit, the only one who can help him prove his innocence is Nimona — a mischievous teen who happens to be a shapeshifting creature he’s sworn to destroy. There’s talk that this was originally going to be a Disney release but that they allowed it be sold to Netflix to be released there. Idiot talking heads will have you believe this was because the main guy is...
Dune: Part Two: Directed by Denis Villeneuve. With Timothée Chalamet, Zendaya, Rebecca Ferguson, Javier Bardem. Paul Atreides unites with Chani and the Fremen while seeking revenge against the conspirators who destroyed his family. About as good as the first one, though this time around there are no big revelations, other than a couple casting decisions that I wasn’t aware of. To be honest I’ve been avoiding the trailers and the articles about the flick, as I was already sold on the first movie and knew I was going to go to the second one, so no need to spoil myself...
Dune: Directed by Denis Villeneuve. With Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Oscar Isaac, Jason Momoa. A noble family becomes embroiled in a war for control over the galaxy’s most valuable asset while its heir becomes troubled by visions of a dark future. Watched again in preparation for seeing the second one in the theaters. It’s pretty darn good, but a shame they only did half the story. Buy On Amazon!
Hitman Hart: Wrestling with Shadows: Directed by Paul Jay. With Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Brian Pillman, Blade Hart. Documentary focusing on the career of pro wrestler Bret Hart & his controversial exit from the WWF. I swear to god I’m not going to get into wrestling, but this was mentioned in a podcast I was listening to and was 100% better than the podcast itself was. Very informative and well made, peak wrestling entertainment. Buy On Amazon!
Anna: Directed by Luc Besson. With Sasha Luss, Helen Mirren, Luke Evans, Cillian Murphy. Beneath Anna Poliatova’s striking beauty lies a secret that will unleash her indelible strength and skill to become one of the world’s most feared government assassins. I was directed to watch this by a member of the community, to whom I am now indebted to for introducing me to Sasha Luss. The story is familiar enough, but there’s enough of a fun wrinkle to the entire thing to make it feel fresh enough to make a well studied concept like “woman brought into a world of...
Knights of the Zodiac: Directed by Tomasz Baginski. With Mackenyu, Famke Janssen, Madison Iseman, Diego Tinoco. When a goddess of war reincarnates in the body of a young girl, street orphan Seiya discovers that he is destined to protect her and save the world. But only if he can face his own past and become a Knight of the Zodiac. I think you can tell exactly what kind of movie this is just from the name and the poster, and it IS that film that you think it is, but it’s also much more. Just kidding, it’s just that film....
The Marvels: Directed by Nia DaCosta. With Brie Larson, Teyonah Parris, Iman Vellani, Samuel L. Jackson. Carol Danvers gets her powers entangled with those of Kamala Khan and Monica Rambeau, forcing them to work together to save the universe. Watched after adding the Steelbook to my collection, which the decision and journey to get it is worth mentioning here. Best Buy is no longer selling movies, so they’re dead to me, and Wal-Mart of all places picked up the slack and now apparently they’re the “exclusive” Steelbook retailer, so I guess the Walton family will be getting more of my...
Mr. & Mrs. Smith: Created by Donald Glover, Francesca Sloane. With Donald Glover, Maya Erskine, Paul Dano, Parker Posey. Two strangers land jobs with a spy agency that offers them a life of espionage, wealth, and travel. The catch: new identities in an arranged marriage. Sharing similar concepts to the two other movies and television series by the same name, this version works best when it’s doing it’s own thing instead of doing what’s been done before. The sound track, action, acting, and character developments are all top notch, but there’s times towards the end of season one that it...
Madame Web: Directed by S.J. Clarkson. With Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O’Connor. Cassandra Webb is a New York metropolis paramedic who begins to demonstrate signs of clairvoyance. Forced to challenge revelations about her past, she needs to safeguard three young women from a deadly adversary who wants them destroyed. With a story set in 2003, I would actually believe you if you told me that the movie itself was made in 2003, maybe even if you said it was made for TV. It’s not a terrible film, but it’s also not a great one, with a story...
Drive-Away Dolls: Directed by Ethan Coen. With Margaret Qualley, Geraldine Viswanathan, Beanie Feldstein, Joey Slotnick. Jamie regrets her breakup with her girlfriend, while Marian needs to relax. In search of a fresh start, they embark on an unexpected road trip to Tallahassee. Things quickly go awry when they cross paths with a group of inept criminals. The only reason that I saw this in the theater was because my hometown plays a large part of the narrative, but unfortunately it was in name only and didn’t have a single scene in the actual city and in fact features a few...
Argylle: Directed by Matthew Vaughn. With Henry Cavill, Daniel Singh, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose. A reclusive author who writes espionage novels about a secret agent and a global spy syndicate realizes the plot of the new book she’s writing starts to mirror real-world events, in real time. Directed by Matthew Vaughn, who’s well known for his Kick-Ass / Kingsman series of movies and comic books, this movie will feel familiar with fans of those franchises, as he’s refined his standard camera technical abilities, overly long action scenes, and overly complicated plots to a point that ‘s a fine meal that...
Ted 2: Directed by Seth MacFarlane. With Mark Wahlberg, Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried, Jessica Barth. Newlywed couple Ted and Tami-Lynn want to have a baby, but in order to qualify to be a parent, Ted will have to prove he’s a person in a court of law. The second film is too close to the plot of the first time, with the same character looking for love, the same character acting as the evil interest, and the same loveably disgusting fluffy teddy bear making more of the same hilarious jokes. It’s still a funny movie and it’s still enjoyable, but...
Your Place or Mine: Directed by Aline Brosh McKenna. With Reese Witherspoon, Ashton Kutcher, Zoë Chao, Jesse Williams. Two long-distance best friends change each other’s lives when she decides to pursue a lifelong dream and he volunteers to keep an eye on her teenage son. A traditional romantic comedy that has little to offer in the way of surprises or unique elements, but delivers on the promise of two characters being apart both physically and emotionally at the beginning of the story and coming together by the end of the film. It’s sweet and sappy in all the ways you’d...
Iron Man: Directed by Jon Favreau. With Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow. After being held captive in an Afghan cave, billionaire engineer Tony Stark creates a unique weaponized suit of armor to fight evil. Watched it again due to TikTok bandwagoning, it’s still a great film with some great lines and it’s the birth of of something really beautiful. Buy On Amazon!
I.S.S.: Directed by Gabriela Cowperthwaite. With Ariana DeBose, Chris Messina, John Gallagher Jr., Masha Mashkova. Tensions flare in the near future aboard the International Space Station as a conflict breaks out on Earth. Reeling, the U.S. and Russian astronauts receive orders from the ground: take control of the station by any means necessary. If you ever want to show someone what “foreshadowing” is or are in need of some great examples of “Chekhov’s gun”, then buddy have I great news for you, as I think this movie sets up the most dominoes I’ve ever seen in a film in the...
