Author: tiki god

The Kid Detective: Directed by Evan Morgan. With Kaitlyn Chalmers-Rizzato, Adam Brody, Kaleb Horn, Wendy Crewson. A once-celebrated kid detective, now 32, continues to solve the same trivial mysteries between hangovers and bouts of self-pity. Until a naive client brings him his first ‘adult’ case, to find out who brutally murdered her boyfriend. A happy go lucky kid detective grows up to be a drunken washed up nobody that can’t seem to get serious crimes to solve. At least that’s until a horrifying murder is given to him as a case by the murdered party’s girlfriend. It’s a fairly by...

Spiderhead: Directed by Joseph Kosinski. With Chris Hemsworth, Miles Teller, Jurnee Smollett, Mark Paguio. In the near future, convicts are offered the chance to volunteer as medical subjects to shorten their sentence. One such subject for a new drug capable of generating feelings of love begins questioning the reality of his emotions. Presented by “THE NEW YORKER” which is a stuffy political magazine that I have never once read, nor have any interest in, since I’m not in New York and have no need to know about gossip from that location. They also do short stories in their paper though,...

Hercules: Directed by Luigi Cozzi. With Lou Ferrigno, Brad Harris, Sybil Danning, Rossana Podestà. The story of the Greek mythological figure, updated in this 80’s version. Lou Ferrigno’s first role after he was done with The Incredible Hulk, the tv show that made him famous as the titular Hulk, this movie is notable for a couple other reasons, the first and foremost is that it’s a terrible no good movie that should have never been made. The second is that Lou Ferrigno is absolutely beautiful and as perfect as a muscle man can be in a movie this bad. The...

Interceptor: Directed by Matthew Reilly. With Elsa Pataky, Luke Bracey, Aaron Glenane, Mayen Mehta. One Army captain must use her years of tactical training and military expertise when a simultaneous coordinated attack threatens the remote missile interceptor station she is in command of. This feels decidedly like a movie that Jean-Claude Van Damme would have done when he was in his prime and to be frank, Elsa Pataky a great subsitutuion for him in this campy yet scrappy military action film with a solo hero trying to save the world, one kick punch at a time. Sure she’s obviously not...

Mad Max: Fury Road: Directed by George Miller. With Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult, Hugh Keays-Byrne. In a post-apocalyptic wasteland, a woman rebels against a tyrannical ruler in search for her homeland with the aid of a group of female prisoners, a psychotic worshiper, and a drifter named Max. I’ve seen it before, I’ll see it again, this is one of the definitive movies of 2015 and is absolutely amazing in 4k hdr. Buy On Amazon!

Gidget Goes Hawaiian: Directed by Paul Wendkos. With James Darren, Michael Callan, Deborah Walley, Carl Reiner. Francine (Gidget) is desperate: her parents want to force her to come with them on vacation to Hawaii – just during the two weeks when her beloved “Moondoggie” is home from College. When he suggests she go for it, she’s even more in panic – doesn’t he care to be with her? So she sets out for Hawaii in the worst mood. On the plane she meets the sociable Abby, who gives her the advice to forget about Jeff – and regrets it shortly...

Gidget: Directed by Paul Wendkos. With Sandra Dee, James Darren, Cliff Robertson, Arthur O’Connell. A young girl discovers surfing and love (in that order) during one transitive summer. With a blink and you’ll miss it appearance by Yvonne Craig, this film is much more famous for the first appearance of Sandra Dee, someone that at the start of the film is as pure and innocent as a young teenager can be, then by the end of the story has some much needed experience in the ways of the world. True story here, previous to this I was watching an episode...

The Valet: Directed by Richard Wong. With Eugenio Derbez, Samara Weaving, Max Greenfield, Betsy Brandt. A movie star enlists a parking valet at a Beverly Hills restaurant to pose as her lover to cover for her relationship with a married man. It’s an english remake of a French film, without a single recognizable star, which adds to its appeal, since there’s just the story and some actors that honestly all deserve to be seen. It’s a goofy and basic premise, but they’re somehow able to make it work and by the end of the film I bet you’ll be pulling...

Waterloo: Directed by Sergey Bondarchuk. With Rod Steiger, Christopher Plummer, Orson Welles, Jack Hawkins. Facing the decline of everything he has worked to obtain, conqueror Napoleon Bonaparte and his army confront the British at the Battle of Waterloo. I’ve never been one to care about the political histories of other countries, though Napoleon is one of those political characters that nearly everyone’s heard of, even if he’s the butt of a “short guy” joke. This movie picks up right as Napoleon is defeated for the first time and the opposing factions thought they’d be able to just throw him on...

Lightyear: Directed by Angus MacLane. With Chris Evans, Keke Palmer, Peter Sohn, Taika Waititi. While spending years attempting to return home, marooned Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear encounters an army of ruthless robots commanded by Zurg who are attempting to steal his fuel source. I know they say it opens tomorrow, but AMC doesn’t play by anyone’s rules, so I saw it tonight. Take a bit of time to wrap your head around this: This is the fictional movie that the fictional character from “Toy Story” named Andy saw when he was a kid, so it’s a movie that was from...