Fast Five

Fast Five: Directed by Justin Lin. With Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson. Dominic Toretto and his crew of street racers plan a massive heist to buy their freedom while in the sights of a powerful Brazilian drug lord and a dangerous federal agent.

The movie opens with a bus crash that in IRL would have killed everyone in the bus, including the target of the crash, Dom. There’s some talk at the start of how Tokyo has no extradition to the US, but I’m nearly certain that isn’t true. This is the movie where things truly go off the rails with the introduction of the oiled up beheamoth played by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, wearing a bear that does not work for him. Halfway through the movie, Luda mentions that he “wants to open a business” but I seem to remember that he had his own garage back in 2F2F, so whatever happened to that enterprise?

Dom wasn’t drinking a Corona. The main ‘angry guy’ from the first movie dies from a weak ass gut shot, and the bigget stunt in the film is dragging a massive safe through the city streets, killing dozens, if not hundreds of people. Physics and all respect for believability go right out the window here, all tied up with The Rock executing a crime boss on live tv in the final moments of the film.

The midcredit scene with Eva reminded me of when my wife and I saw the film in the theaters, we whispered “my god if The Rock is at the desk doing paperwork while all oiled up, I’m going to die laughing…” which is exactly what they did with the final reveal of a main character that was previously killed coming back to life.

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Tiki God


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